Rule #5: Leave Your Ego At The Door

If you’ve read Insights Articles 1-4, you should realize that they’re intent is to show leaders how to gather better information. This one is intended to show them how to receive it.

Projects rarely improve because someone wins an argument, but I've seen plenty improve because someone was willing to admit they didn't have all the answers. And one of the biggest obstacles to successful project execution isn't a lack of experience, It’s the belief that experience means we no longer have anything to learn.

Over the course of my career, I've worked with exceptionally talented engineers, construction managers, project managers, craft professionals, executives, supervisors, and technical specialists. Many were among the brightest people I've ever met.

Interestingly, the people I respected most weren't necessarily the ones who spoke the most or carried the most authority, they were the ones who remained curious.

They asked questions and listened carefully to responses, they challenged assumptions—including their own, and perhaps most importantly, they were willing to change their minds when presented with better information.

That's not weakness. That's leadership.

Unfortunately, ego has a way of quietly changing the objective.

The conversation begins with a simple question:

"What's the best decision for the project?"

But somewhere along the way, it becomes:

"How do I defend my position?"

That's a subtle shift, but it's one with enormous consequences. The moment protecting our reputation becomes more important than improving the outcome, the project begins paying the price.

I've watched meetings where the best solution entered the room early, but never survived because it came from the "wrong" person.

• • Not senior enough.
• • Not influential enough.
• • Not part of the right department.
• • Not the person expected to have the answer.

Projects don't always fail because good ideas are unavailable, sometimes they fail because ego prevents those ideas from being recognized.

One of the most valuable lessons I've learned is that titles don't determine where the best ideas come from, projects do.

I've witnessed project executives make outstanding decisions, and I've engineers solve incredibly complex technical problems.

I've seen first-line supervisors recognize operational risks long before anyone else, and I've seen craft professionals identify practical solutions that saved countless hours of work because they understood something no drawing, procedure, or schedule could fully capture.

The project didn't care who offered the idea. It only cared whether it improved execution.

That's why I've never believed leadership is about having all the answers, it’s about creating an environment where the best answers have an opportunity to emerge - regardless of who brings them forward.

I think one of the greatest misconceptions about humility is that it's somehow the opposite of confidence. I don't believe that and, in fact, I've found exactly the opposite.

The most confident leaders I've worked with were usually the quickest to admit when they didn't know something. They weren't threatened by questions, they welcomed them. They weren't intimidated by expertise; they sought it out and tried to surround themselves with it. They didn't need to be the smartest person in the room because they understood their job wasn't to demonstrate knowledge, it was to make better decisions.

I've often said that every person on a project knows something I don't, and that's not false modesty-it's simply reality.

Every engineer has experiences I haven't had. Every craft professional has some level of practical knowledge I don't possess. Every scheduler, planner, quality specialist, operator, and supervisor sees the project from a perspective that's different from mine.

Ignoring those perspectives doesn't make my understanding more complete, it makes it less complete.

That's why leaving your ego at the door isn't really about being humble, it's about remaining teachable.

The day we believe our title, experience, or position means we've stopped learning is the day our effectiveness as leaders begins to decline.

A valuable question I've found incredibly valuable throughout my career is surprisingly simple:

"What am I missing?"

It's amazing what happens when a leader asks that question sincerely:

• • People begin sharing observations they might otherwise have kept to themselves.
• • Assumptions are challenged.
• • Blind spots become visible.
• • Risks emerge before they become problems.
• • Better decisions follow.

-Not because the leader became smarter, but because the leader became more informed.

I've also noticed something interesting over the years, and that is that ego rarely announces itself.

Very few people intentionally walk into a meeting determined to ignore good ideas. Instead, ego usually appears in much smaller ways:

• • Interrupting before someone finishes explaining.
• • Rejecting an idea before fully understanding it.
• • Assuming experience automatically outweighs a different perspective.
• • Defending yesterday's decision simply because it was ours.
• • Wanting to be right more than wanting to get it right.

Those behaviors seem insignificant in the moment. Collectively, they shape an organization's culture, and eventually people stop offering ideas. Not because they stopped thinking, but because they conclude nobody is listening, and that's an enormous loss. Not just for the individual….For the project.

I've come to believe that one of leadership's greatest responsibilities is creating an environment where ideas compete on their merit—not on the title of the person presenting them.

Because the project doesn't care who gets the credit.

It only experiences the consequences of the decision.

Leaving your ego at the door doesn't mean leaving your confidence behind.

It means being confident enough to say,

"I hadn't considered that."

"Help me understand."

"That's a better idea."

In my experience, those aren't signs of weakness.

They're signs of a leader whose primary goal isn't protecting an ego.

It's improving the outcome.