Leadership Rule #10: Speak Positively About the Team and the Team Members
The final rule isn't about communication.
It's about culture.
I've spent decades on construction projects ranging from small industrial work to some of the largest and most complex projects in the country. Different owners. Different contractors. Different personalities.
One thing has remained remarkably consistent; You can tell within a few days what kind of project you're on simply by listening to how people talk about each other.
On struggling projects, conversations are filled with blame.
- • "Engineering never gets it right."
- • "The field screwed it up again."
- • "Safety is just slowing us down."
- • "Management has no clue what's really happening."
Every discipline becomes the enemy of another, people begin protecting themselves instead of supporting the project. Then trust evaporates - And once trust disappears, performance usually follows.
The best projects sound completely different, not because people ignore mistakes. But because they refuse to attack the people making them.
Every Conversation Shapes the Culture
Culture isn't built during annual meetings, and it isn't created by mission statements hanging in conference rooms.
It's built one conversation at a time.
Every hallway discussion...
Every progress meeting...
Every trailer conversation...
Every email...
Every comment after someone leaves the room...
Every one of those moments teaches people what's acceptable.
When leaders consistently criticize people instead of addressing problems, everyone notices. Soon others begin doing the same, and I can attest that negativity spreads far faster than professionalism.
Before long, people become afraid to ask questions, afraid to admit mistakes, and reluctant to offer ideas.
The project doesn't become more accountable - It becomes less honest.
Problems Need to Be Discussed. People Need to Be Respected.
Let's be clear, speaking positively about people doesn't mean pretending everything is fine. Poor performance still must be addressed, unsafe behavior must be corrected, bad decisions must be challenged, and missed commitments require accountability.
I've spent much of my career having difficult conversations….Sometimes very difficult conversations. Leadership requires them, but there's a tremendous difference between saying:
"This decision created unnecessary risk." and "He's an idiot."
One improves the project - The other poisons it.
Professional leaders separate the performance from the person by correcting behavior without destroying dignity.
What You Say When People Aren't Present Reveals Your Character
Anyone can compliment someone standing in front of them. Character is revealed by what happens after they walk away.
Do you give them credit? Do you defend them when criticism becomes unfair?
Do you assume positive intent until facts prove otherwise? Or do you become one more voice adding to the negativity?
People notice. They always notice.
Your reputation isn't built solely by how you treat people directly.
It's built by how safely people believe their reputation is when they're not in the room.
Leaders Set the Emotional Temperature
As a leader, whether you realize it or not, your words establish the emotional climate around you.
When leaders constantly complain...Teams complain.
When leaders gossip...Teams gossip.
When leaders assign blame...Teams avoid ownership.
But when leaders recognize effort...
Give credit freely...
Correct problems professionally...
Protect the dignity of the people involved...
People begin doing the same.
Culture follows leadership. Always.
Assume Positive Intent First
One of the greatest lessons I've learned is that most people don't come to work hoping to fail. Most aren't trying to create problems, and they aren't intentionally making your job harder.
Usually they're working with incomplete information, competing priorities, limited resources...Or pressures you may not fully understand.
That doesn't excuse poor performance, but it should influence how we approach it.
- • Start with curiosity before criticism.
- • Ask questions before making accusations.
- • Seek understanding before assigning motives.
More often than not, you'll discover the problem is far more complicated than it first appeared.
The Strongest Teams Protect Each Other's Reputation
The highest-performing project teams I've ever been part of shared one defining characteristic: People trusted each other.
Not because everyone agreed nor because mistakes never happened, and certainly not because conversations were always easy.
They trusted each other because they knew no one would publicly diminish them for personal gain;
- • Disagreements stayed professional.
- • Feedback stayed respectful.
- • Credit was shared generously.
- • Problems were solved together.
- • Most importantly, when someone wasn't in the room...Their teammates spoke about them as if they were - And that's exactly the kind of team everyone wants to belong to.
Your Legacy Will Be Measured by More Than the Projects You Finish
Long after budgets are forgotten...Schedules are archived...And ribbon cuttings are over...
People remember something far more personal, they remember how you made them feel.
Whether you built them up...Or tore them down.
Whether you made the workplace stronger...Or simply louder.
Whether you earned respect...Or demanded it.
All projects eventually end- The relationships don't….And neither does your reputation.
That's why I saved this rule for last.
Because every other Rule of Engagement depends on it.
Respect the people.
Protect the team.
Address problems honestly.
Give credit generously.
Correct with professionalism.
Lead with integrity.
The strongest projects are never built by individuals. They're built by teams that trust each other enough to succeed together.
Rule #10 is simple:
- • Speak positively about the team and the people on it.
- • Hold each other accountable.
- • Solve problems directly.
- • Protect each other's dignity.
That's how trust is built...and trust is the foundation of every truly exceptional project.